It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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