Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
