my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
