Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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