Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's no shave November. This is our time.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
