i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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