Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
