the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
