Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
