I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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