I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
