This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
