I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
