Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
