I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
