so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
