I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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