I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
