Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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