Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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