Can i not drive my cunt home
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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