I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
