I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
