As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
