yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
