I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Jerry, you need to find god
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
