you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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