the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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