all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
