I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
