Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
found the other keg... it's in the tree
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
