apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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