grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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