So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
