sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
