I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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