You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
