On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
