Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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