Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
