that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
