4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
