One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
