Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
