we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
