Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't deserve a penis
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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