my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
