my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
