We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
