Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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