So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
