You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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