I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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