He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
